


hitting rock bottom (but you’re here too)

by ryanwolfe



Series: a lifetime of love [4]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Gamblers Anonymous, Gambling, Gen, Group Therapy, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Therapy, Undercover, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryanwolfe/pseuds/ryanwolfe
Summary: So here Eric was, dressed in ragged casual wear, gripping tightly to another paper cup of terrible brewed coffee, absent-mindedly paying attention as another addict spilled their sad story of falling apart at the hands of gambling.The door opens, the hinges squeaking and Eric is startled to see a familiar face.an au involving eric going undercover into a Gamblers Anonymous meeting for a case and discovering something new about his colleague that shifts his feelings.
Relationships: Eric Delko & Ryan Wolfe, Eric Delko/Ryan Wolfe
Series: a lifetime of love [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861900
Kudos: 6





	hitting rock bottom (but you’re here too)

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr — [@brandtwilliam](https://brandtwilliam.tumblr.com/)
> 
> loosely inspired by this [fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11289870)
> 
> another fic about ryan’s gambling addiction because i feel like they just used it for one arc and a little throw away hint later on in the show but i wanted to go more in-depth about it. 
> 
> also, have an undercover eric discovering and confronting ryan about it and his feelings shifting about ryan at the same time.
> 
> (disclaimer: this is pre-slash & pre-relationship, the ending does hint something will happen between them. also, clearly i don’t know anything about gamblers anonymous, please don’t come for me, i just based it on alcoholic anonymous. thank you!)
> 
> cheers for me, i’m going hard on this write a fic per day for a month challenge and i’ve written over twenty fics now!

Eric’s slouched in a metal flimsy folding chair as he attends another of these meetings. It’s the five one he’s in for the day and he’s mentally praying that Horatio has found something so he can be done with this. 

The case is simple: the victim was found with his throat slashed and pieces of credit cards cut up thrown around him. They followed the trail and discovered that he was in major debt, having flushed out all his money by gambling. Then another victim was called in, drowned and fished out of the ocean, also with debt. The team hitting dead end after dead end, Horatio had sent Eric in to go undercover to all the Gamblers Anonymous meetings, the other connection linking to two victims together. 

So here Eric was, dressed in ragged casual wear, gripping tightly to another paper cup of terrible brewed coffee, absent-mindedly paying attention as another addict spilled their sad story of falling apart at the hands of gambling. 

The door opens, the hinges squeaking and Eric is startled to see a familiar face.

Ryan Wolfe quietly shuffles into the room, gracefully sliding into one of the chairs, placing his elbows on his knees as he leans forward, his hands folded together in front of him. He doesn’t seem to notice Eric, a few chairs in front of him, and if he does, Ryan doesn’t give any indication. 

Eric hunches his shoulders even more, attempting to avoid eye contact with Ryan and focuses back on observing the crowd, trying to forget Ryan’s presence. 

He’s mostly succeed in ignoring that Ryan’s here until the moderator of the group gestures towards the back of the room, and Eric’s eyes against his will, dart to Ryan. 

Their gazes meet and Ryan’s eyes widen for a moment before he looks away. Ryan turns to the leader, who asks if he would take a turn and Ryan agrees willingly. 

He stands and takes a deep breath. He’s got Eric’s full attention now, as he turns to face Ryan, along with everyone else. 

Eric watches as Ryan briefly closes his eyes, eyelashes fluttering as green eyes open, and something flashes through, too quick for Eric to grasp. 

“Hi, I’m Ryan.”

Eric mumbles along with everyone. “Hi, Ryan.”

The tips of his lip quirk upwards as Ryan continues. “As I was saying last week, I lost my job two weeks ago because of gambling. There was a…situation and I had complicated it with my addiction.”

Eric’s breath catches, he had heard what happened from Horatio, but it was different, hearing Ryan admit what had happened. 

“It was…bad. My job was something I had been working for a long time, and I just lost it doing something as stupid as gambling.”

A couple people murmur comforting words and give understanding nods. Eric belatedly remembers what he’s on the job and nods along. 

Ryan’s eyes drift towards him before looking away again and clearing his throat. 

“Anyways, I’ve been trying, cleaning up my act, hoping to get a second chance again. My boss,” and Eric can see the beginnings of a small smile grow across Ryan’s face. “He’s been helpful, offering advice and steps on how to get my job back. Which has been nice, I, uh,” Ryan’s hand comes up to cup the back of his neck, his voice cracking a little as he trails off. 

Sheepishly he admits, “I’ve never had someone who, despite seeing a new side to me, that could be categorized as horrible, is just as quick to be ready to support me.”

Eric feels a twinge in his chest, watching a sad smile appear on Ryan’s face. 

“He, uh, he even said that if I keep going, I might be rehired.”

Someone claps and the room explodes offering hearty congratulations. They pause when Ryan holds up a hand.

“Uh, thanks guys, but I haven’t been rehired yet. Let’s not take in that far,” he says with a sarcastic grin and chuckles fill the room. 

“But, uh, anyways, thanks. I haven’t been gambling since then and it’s hard, but it’s worth it.”

Applause starts and Ryan laughs, shrugging as he sits back down, many giving him high fives. 

Eric is frozen in his seat, opening staring at Ryan, almost like he’s seeing him in a new light. 

Ryan had sounded hurt, defeated as he spoke and a flow of regret and shame goes through Eric. Hearing him talk about how Horatio has been supporting him, his voice cracking as if he was overwhelmed by his emotions. The sadness edging underneath when Ryan confesses that he’d never really had that before. 

Eric thinks back on those moments, times when he had automatically blamed Ryan when something had gone wrong, where he had verbally attacked Ryan when he first started on the job, rage and misery coloring his vision. 

He spends the rest of the meeting to himself, distant, quiet. He occasionally glances over Ryan, who’s listening intently, speaking up on occasion. 

After the meeting is adjourned, Eric hovers near the snack table, avoiding any contact as he patiently waits for Ryan, who’s huddled in a group, easygoing and relaxed as he joins in the conversation. 

He bows out when he notices Eric’s gaze in his peripheral vision and subtly jerks his head, nodding towards the exit and casually slips out. 

After enough time has passed, Eric makes his way out of the room, shouldering against the crowd. Once he’s outside, he spots Ryan a couple feet away, pacing.

When Ryan senses his presence, he wordlessly gestures and steps into what looks like a coffee shop. Eric doesn’t hesitant, following along into shop and going in. 

Ryan’s seated at a table in the back, his facial expression unreadable, his stance relaxed, but Eric can see the tension running a line across his shoulders even from here. 

Eric’s eyes shift around the shop, a couple bystanders gathered, spread out across. It seems they’ve arrived during a pause, a time where the shop has caught a break, in between rush hours. 

He slowly walks towards Ryan, shoving his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking, nervous energy thrumming under his skin. 

Once he’s folded himself in the chair opposite to Ryan, he doesn’t know what to do. 

Ryan’s eyes subtly drifts across his face, searching for something, what, Eric doesn’t know but Ryan seems to have, looking away and nodding to himself. 

“You’re undercover, aren’t you?” Ryan suddenly asks and it must show on his face because he chuckles, lowly and shakes his head. 

“Right. You can’t say,” and he laughs again. Eric flinches, something sharp and dangerous edging in that laugh. 

“Yes, yes I’m undercover right now,” he admits, in an attempt to stop Ryan. 

It seems it doesn’t help, as a flash of hatred passes through those dark green eyes. 

Ryan leans forward, plucking a packet of sugar from the table, fiddling with it when he looks up at Eric. 

His breath hitches, Ryan’s eyes glancing up at him, dark eyelashes framed against them. 

“You do know that it’s a serious violation to hijack these meetings, right?”

They pause, when a waitress steps up and places two steaming cups of coffee in front of them and wait as she walks away. 

Eric leans in closer, a hush whisper when he responds. “Yeah, I know.” And a rush of anger grows within him at the thought of Ryan lecturing him on something he thinks he knows again. 

But with a jolt, it slowly fades away at the sight of Ryan’s defeated frown. 

“Anything that doesn’t pertain to the case,” and he gestures with his hands. “Goes through one ear and out the other,” and the tips of Ryan’s lips move upward. 

“I, uh, I didn’t know that about you.” 

“What? that I have a gambling addiction? Would’ve thought you and Calleigh had already gossiped about it.” Ryan sneers, defensively folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. 

Eric silently curses, knowing that he took a misstep and tries to backtrack his words. “No, I meant, the part about having no one support you.”

Ryan’s sneer turns into a grimace and he casually shrugs, grabbing the cup of coffee and sipping at it. “Yeah, well, you don’t know a lot about me, it seems.”

Eric has the decent to flush, but he pushes through. “yeah, sorry about that.”

“Better late then never,” Ryan tosses back, but it sounds halfhearted, his shoulders hunched, body turned away from Eric. 

“Glad you’re doing better though,” he offers lightly, and Ryan shrugs again. 

“Not like you care anyways.”

Eric grimaces, “yeah, well i do. And you know what?” He shifts his stance, eyes darting to Ryan and forcing him to meet his gaze. Intensely, he says, meaningfully, “I hope you’re rehired soon, too.” 

He tries to convene authenticity and genuine concern in his tone, hoping that Ryan can understand. 

Eric’s rewarded for his efforts when Ryan shoots him a small smile. They spend the rest of their time chatting quietly and drinking their coffee. 

Eric leaves afterwards, with a newfound understanding and more knowledge about his former co-worker. 

And a few weeks later, he happily welcomes back Ryan when he returns to work, offering a celebratory dinner later on. 

It changes everything between them.


End file.
